he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
