There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
