we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Randomize
