A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
