You're my little dorito
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
