Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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