How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
