yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I love having hate sex.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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