why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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