FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
