I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
