Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
