I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
