Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
