id be glad to
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
