Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
