I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
