Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I just want to make out with him forever
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
