I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
