I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
