the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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