i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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