I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
