i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I queefed so loud it echoed.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
