He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
It's shark week go big or go home
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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