He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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