What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
