Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
