I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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