You smell like a Billy Joel song
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
