Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
