it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
