I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
