you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Randomize
