My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
