can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
sex in a hospital.. check
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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