I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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