oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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