I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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