haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
