I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
