Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
