I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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