it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
