when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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