It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
We're facebook friends in real life
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
