I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
