There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I think my moral compass just broke
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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