i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
