i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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